Stargazing and Realtalk-ing
by Wrong-decision
Summary: Alexander and John go stargazing because John can't sleep.


Hey!  
First Hamilton oneshot.  
Not one of my best writings, but it exists so I might as well post it.  
I am sorry for possibly mischaracterizing them.

* * *

Sometimes, when John couldn't fall asleep, he would call Alex to meet him outside of the dorms for star gazing.  
Alex was always awake, studying late, writing essays.  
John never knew where he got all the energy from, to go through his life as well as he did without falling asleep all the time.  
(He did fall asleep sometimes but definitely not as much as any ordinary human being would. John guessed it was Alex' constant consume of caffeine.)  
Normally they would talk until John was too tired to stay awake, joke around and every now and then, when there was a test coming up, Alex brought his books and listened to music while learning, simply keeping his friend company while he quietly sang whatever came into his head. And while Alex loved to listen to John sing, he couldn't concentrate when he did so.  
Therefore the headphones.  
Today was no such day, but Alex had brought his iPod anyways and, after John had gone quiet and simply let his thoughts drift while looking at the starry sky, he had started up music.  
After a while, Alex felt John's hand slip over his, which was nothing unusual for nights like these. He didn't exactly know when it had started, but he didn't mind.  
In fact he liked it.  
He liked John Laurens, too. Liked him a lot actually.  
Alex' playlist ended.  
He didn't bother starting it up again.  
It had been quiet for a while, when John sighed deeply and Alex felt him shift.  
"John?"  
John froze.  
"…Alex, weren't you just listening to music?"  
"Playlists been through for a while now."  
John laughed nervously.  
"Oh, that's cool, I guess…"  
Alex frowned.  
"Are you okay? Is something bothering you?"  
"What? No, no don't worry. I'm fine."  
He didn't sound like it.  
"Tell me who to fight and I'll do it!"  
John snorted.  
"You're tiny, Alex."  
"I'll bite their legs then."  
"Well, have fun nagging on my legs, then."  
Alex turned his head but John didn't look at him, so he turned back.  
"What's going on?"  
"You really want to know?"  
"Of fucking course, I wouldn't ask if not!"  
John shrugged.  
"You know how my father doesn't approve of anything I do? Especially my sexuality?"  
"Sure", Alex nodded.  
"Well, I'm scared that he'll find out if I date anyone and throw me out. I don't want to lose contact to them, Alex."  
"Wait, are you telling me you never dated anyone because of that?"  
"No, I did. But I was younger and my father put it off as a phase. It's different now. He mentioned something similar in his latest mail… I'm a bit scared."  
"Oh… I'm sorry you have to go through that. Is there any way I can make you feel better?"  
Alex squeezed John's hand and he turned his head, smiling in a way that made him look even sadder.  
"I have this dude that I really like. Like… A lot. Which is also the reason I'm concerned about my father right now. And I really want to ask him out, but I don't know if I should."  
His eyes locked on Alex' face, who's stomach made a weird flip, despite the disappointment that John liked someone.  
"I think you should go for it, if you really mean it. You won't be able to prevent it happening at some point so, why not sooner than later."  
John snapped out of the hypnotizing stare and turned back around again.  
"You're right, I should."  
"I'll help you through any shit you dad's gonna pull."  
"Thanks, Alex."  
They sat in silence, Alex thinking hard about who John could be crushing on.  
They didn't hang around others that much.  
So, could it be Mulligan or Lafayette? Or really, someone completely different?  
"John?"  
"Hm?"  
"What is the person you like like?"  
He thought for a bit and then answered, grinning: "He's an absolute idiot."  
"Wow, so that's like, everyone we know."  
John laughed and then started describing a bit more.  
"He's really into school and forgets to eat and drink sometimes when he's studying. Whenever someone insults him or his friends, he gets super rallied up and wants to literally fight that person, I'm not even joking! Literally! He also has the brain of an elephant or something. He can remember anything that's ever been said to him, so I don't really understand why he studies so much. And boy! He writes like he's running out of time, or something! All the time! He's awful at fiction though, I found his archive of our own account once."  
Alex stared into the void, processing what had been said, thoughts ringing like bells in his head.  
Before he could say something John continued.  
"He's also really sweet and funny and the best friend I could have ever wished for. He just… understands me and doesn't get scared away by all my issues and problems and self doubt. And he's always making me laugh. Guess that's important to me. Oh and he looks good, even with a beard. I normally don't like beards,"  
Alex laughed, his voice shaky.  
"Sounds a lot like me!", he half-joked, half-realized.  
John didn't answer.  
Alex stopped laughing.  
"John, I-"  
"I really like your stupid face, Alex."  
John was muttering, head on his knees now.  
Alex took a moment, before he started beaming.  
This late night meet up had to be the best one they'd had yet.

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
I know this is open ended and I'm sorry but I tried to let it end differently and this is the best one yet.  
Love y'all!


End file.
